There once was a man from Rhode Island
That got drunk and then decided
To drive but couldn't find his car keys
So he snatched up a forklift with ease
And promptly ended up in jail looking real angry without bail!

From the Monroe County Sheriff's Office, a drunk man from Rhode Island stole a forklift from a marina because he couldn’t find the keys to his car.

The Sheriff’s Office received a call that someone was breaking down the fence with a forklift. When the Deputy arrived on the scene, he saw the entrance gates to a marina broken.

The reporting person was there and said he’d seen a white male with blue shorts, a tank top, and flip-flops breaking out of the marina property on a forklift. He said he saw the forklift heading toward the Sandal Factory.

The suspect, identified as 44-year-old Edward Quinton of Greenwich, Rhode Island, told the officers he was in the Keys helping friends to move here. He said he lost the keys to his car and needed something to drive. He said he knows how to drive a forklift, so he took it from the marina.

When the officers asked about the damage to the marina gates, Quinton said it was OK. He said he would be able to fix the gates because he “was a genius”.
Quinton appeared to be intoxicated; he was given a breathalyzer test and blood alcohol level tested at more than twice the legal limit. He was charged with DUI with property damage, criminal mischief, burglary and grand theft.

He was booked into jail.